Stake To The Heart (Stakes and Silver Bullets)
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For thinking that, you fail to comprehend just how utterly terrible these films manage to be. As many people have pointed out, it almost has to be seen to be believed just how many things are done so horribly wrong. I suppose a good place to begin is to ruminate on all of the issues with the source material. The characters are all either stock characters, a lunatic Mary Sue, or some sort of abusive pedophile supernatural creature.
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The plot is non-existent, and the dialog more wooden than the pages their printed on, and most of the, ahem, story, consists of Bella wanting to screw either Edward or Jacob, Edward saying he wants to eat or kill Bella, or Jacob saying Bella should be with him before he falls in love with an infant. You know you were thinking it!
One of the surprising things about the movies it that it manages to be completely faithful to the books, taking all that plotless insanity, turning it up to eleven, and then drawing it out for two to three hours. Just how did they accomplish that particular crime against humanity? Three main ways my dear readers. Step one: Four movies in, you have maybe thirty minutes of plot — terrible, terrible plot. They literally take a two to three-hour movie, have about twenty minutes of story, and spend the rest on long shots of the brooding males or Kristen Stewart blinking every other word.
Rather than try to pad these long, dull scenes of angsty brooding, with say, some dialogue or action sequence, just have it be utterly silent for minutes at a time aside from a few exchanges of brief dialogue or snippets of the films dreadful indie soundtrack floating in from time to time.
It may come as a shock, but Vampires Suck — the parody made by the two idiots that made Epic Movie — has a better plot and script than the entire movie series. There is no chemistry between any of the leads, no menace from the villains, and given that the dialog is lifted straight from the books, expect any spoken line to either fall flat, or cause you to laugh or groan. Of course, given the actors, and I use that term VERY lightly here, it should be of little surprise that the execution of any story at all will fail horrifically, bringing us to our next point: The actors in the movies have all the acting ability of garden produce.
The entire cast of the movies offers performances of two varieties: laughably over-the-top, or deadpan moping. Four movies in, she has maybe three facial expressions bite lip, blink madly, open mouth , one vocal tone, and zero acting ability. She literally reads her lines in the same bored monotonous voice in every scene, offers one of her three facial expressions and then stares with her mouth open until the next scene.
Her few efforts at acting in the dramatic scenes — ie, screaming in a bed, trying to kill herself on a motorcycle — come across with all the tension of an episode of Scrubs , and are about as humorous.
Another thing — she just never smiles or has any happy expression on her face. I know the feeling — watching her act gives me feel ill too. And then we have Taylor Lautner, who to this day, is the best evidence that women are more shallow than men.
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His entire career is built around shallow teenage girls and very lonely old women seeing his face on a bunch of magazines coming to see him shirtless — at least him shirtless with a computer generated six-pack. His entire role in these movies is just the equivalent of a male Megan Fox, and his career will last about as long as hers did.
Honestly, the only of the main three I have any sympathy for is Robert Pattinson. At least I did before he made Remember Me anyway. Kudos Robert — too bad these movies will likely be the high mark on what might have been a promising career. Typecasting is a bitch huh?
Lastly, you have directing and cinematography that makes Micheal Bay look like Orson Welles. These movies are probably some of the worst directed films in Hollywood. As mentioned before, all the questionable camera angles, choices in scene Vampire Baseball anyone? Given all that, is there any doubt why so many film lovers and critics bemoan these movies as the biggest threat to good cinema since Uwe Boll discovered German tax laws?
The web community hates these movies — most famously, Doug Walker, the Nostalgia Critic himself, went into hysterics raving about how much he hated Breaking Dawn which is better than poor Spoony — he openly wept for an hour-and-a-half. Yet, much to our shame, people keep seeing these movies in droves. Sure they may be cinematic catastrophes on a biblical scale, but what harm can they do? No, my biggest issue about the Twilight movies is a simple one.
They hit the box office, terrified audiences let word of mouth turn a multi-million dollar movie into a box office disaster, and Hollywood, having learned an expensive lesson, refrains from making similar products again, and lest they forget, people trash those stinkers constantly in pop culture and the Internet. A bad product gets a bad reception, bad product gets tossed out. Go ahead, take a look around you. Results cannot be considered conclusive, however, as the show utilized a grain lead slug in a. Another MythBusters episode, from , showed that silver bullets are less accurate than lead bullets when fired from the M1 Garand.
After making a custom mold to ensure that the sizes of the silver bullets were comparable to the lead bullets, he fired them. He found that the silver bullets were slightly slower than the lead bullets and less accurate. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. For other uses, see Silver Bullet disambiguation.
Witchcraft and the Occult. Devizes, Quintet Publishing. Guy Crouzet. Patricia Briggs. Retrieved January 25, In this photo, you can see the marks the rifling in the barrel left on the bullet when it was fired.
Originally Posted by SmokeBlader. Yes, this is about the mythological vampire and werewolf. Put those pics here, just because they are badass.
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Completely dependent on the lore accompanying them. Seriously, werewolves and vampires are some of the oldest mythological creatures in the world.
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They've been reinvented hundreds upon thousands of times, by just as many people. Also, might I add that depending on what lore you base it off of, werewolves are also immortal to an extent. They can live for thousands upon thousands of years. No Underworld,Twilight or any movie logic. Just the myth itself. Sure the vampires intellect is a great advantage but once their on you theres absolutely no chance left. Assuming its the stereotypical. Vampires: Strength, Speed, Smart, Undead. Im imagining the setting as Vampires not being evolved with the equipment to properly handle a Werewolf.
Pretty much Van Helsing. Last edited by Lyriok; at PM.go
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Well if you're referring to the world of darkness and general mythology , young vampire is easily beaten by a werewolf, but an ancient vampire can easily beat a werewolf. Going from the original myth the vampire wins easily. The wherewolf would have no control and yust be a wild beast not really smart enough to do annything but claw at bite which cant kill a vampire.
Originally Posted by Reluctant. Wolves are pack animals while Vampires are decidedly solo types. I'm thinking the Vampire would have to take down the whole pack and that wouldn't happen.